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Dear Mama: A Son's farewell |
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Fiction |
Yesterday, I sat with you and watched the evening news unfold...
A little girl was shot to death two hours ago
while she sat at dinner with her family.
A stream of bullets exploded through her mother's living room
in the Northwest part of the District...
I saw your face cringe with pain
at the images that flashed across the screen
I saw your lips quiver with disgust
at the thought of such a gruesome crime
I saw your eyes glimmer with tears
for the loss of a precious little life
I saw you clutch your bosom so tight
when the little girl's face filled up the screen
I saw you stifle a sob as the grieving mother
screamed in unbearable pain
Then I saw you shudder with disbelief
When the pages of the screen
Spit out the image of the suspect
It was the face of your son.
The one who sat next to you
Listening to the news with you
You looked at me, opened your mouth,
And the words froze before they could form.
I stood up, quietly, and walked out into the night
I looked for the corners of the streets
Where darkness could comfort me
For I am a child of darkness
My mind is a fog of darkness
My thoughts are a void of darkness
My words are the substance of darkness
And darkness was all the comfort I longed for
At the stroke of my midnight, I sat down
Under the shadow of a red moon
To write you a letter on the pages
Of a scarlet heart:
Dear Mama,
I hope you will find the strength to forgive me
I did not mean to take another life
I was simply taking a right of passage
I had joined a neighbourhood gang
Perhaps for a drop of senseless glory
In ways uncalculated, I chose my own path
Carved my own way of sorrows
And wove my own crown of shame
Forgive me, Mama
I cannot live with the pain I saw in your eyes
At the break of dawn, I shall be gone
When they come to ask you where I am,
Tell them I have gone to seek my way back
To the womb of the earth.
I wrote this poem after the spate of gang violence
in Washington DC that saw a number of innocent
children killed in the crossfire.
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Mkawasi Mcharo Hall |